Dating is a battlefield

Now where should I start with dating in 2018? I would advise you to pull up a chair and pour a glass of wine for this depressing piece of literature. It serves as a testament to the shit storm that is dating in 2018. I am writing this from my perspective and I understand not everyone has had this jaded experience but I find a lot of my single friends have had a similar experience so this is why I chose this as my blog topic this week.

I have been single 3 years this September after my daughters father left when she was 4 months old. Adjusting to my new-found role as single mum and single woman in the online dating era I was in for a shock. I was unable to meet people out and about as I not only had a newborn but she was born premature and had some issues. My days were filled with specialist appointments and doing what they had recommended at home. There was no break there was just me. It took a while for dating to even come onto my radar. I was unable to get out and about to meet people like I use to. I was closed off from the world. So friends recommended I try Tinder and go on dates when my daughter was visiting her father. In theory this was a great idea……… wrong. In the first year of being single I went on a total of 3 dates 5 if you count the no shows that then ghosted me when they were meant to be arriving for organised dates.  Don’t get me wrong in 3 years I have made a couple of new friends from my online dating experience but not “the one”. I was soon to learn that in this modern dating era there doesn’t seem to just be a one anymore. The dating world today people seem to treat each other as disposable. I’m not meaning like my sexual goddess of a friend that dates freely and has amicable one night stands in mutual respect and understanding. I am talking about the distinct lack of etiquette and respect people have for each other. For example going on a few dates and people only seeing people until something better comes along and instead of being honest, either stringing them along , ghosting or other. So here are a few things I have learnt about dating in 2018.

Ghosting – is real and it happens to most that are online dating or dating in general. Ghosting is basically when you are talking to someone, you could have met them a few times or chatted lots online then all of a sudden they just disappear no response nothing its like they have disappeared off the face of the planet. Apparently this is modern etiquette. Being able to hide behind a screen and set someone to block because of a distinct lack of common decency. Honesty is long gone and having the etiquette to just say hey im not feeling it I wish you well but, see you later does not happen now. You are left guessing instead.

Bread crumbing  it’s what it sounds like someone plants some breadcrumbs to keep stringing you along. In this scenario you aren’t their first choice but they want to string you along as they like your company they just don’t want to seriously date you and can’t be honest with you.

Stashing – Is when you are someones secret partner you never meet their friends and family but the relationship continues with the dodging for what ever reason. I have a friend that has been in this position for over 5 years, They need to run and find someone who is proud to be with them and wants to share every aspect of their life with them.

Catfishing – well I think everyone has heard of this one. When the person that you have been talking to shows up on the date and it’s not the person on the profile. They have pretended to be someone else entirely.  It’s awkward for all involved just be honest with who you are.

Cricketing – Is when you leave someone on read just to toy with them instead of just responding like a normal descent human being. Its pretty much ghosting but they eventually respond when they think its to their advantage.

There are so many more terms than these in modern dating. I like to tell myself im single because Brock O’Hurn hasn’t met me yet or because Jason Mamoa and the Rock are both married but when it comes down to it, it seems in modern dating its like watching Jim Carreys Liar Liar people just can’t be honest.  So what I think is, you are better with animals. If you own your home go the cat lady dozen if you are renting maybe go with the cat lady half-dozen, In all seriousness dating in the online generation is beyond hard and heart wrenching when you are honest and wear your heart on our sleeve. It really is a battlefield and finding diamonds and unicorns seems to be more realistic than finding a genuine connection with someone who could become long-term and something truly special. How people treat each other is getting worse and it’s getting swept under the rug when it should be called out. I am luckily the type of person that doesn’t need someone. I just have the occasional time of weakness when I want someone in my life but, I am completely self-sufficient and happy with my life. Maybe one day I will find someone special but in the mine field of dating in 2018 I would rather focus on more important things than someone to tickle my pickle.