Tag: mum blog

Taking a chance

Taking a chance

nadiaewestbrookcreative

Being single for a long period you always hear from people around you, oh you will meet someone, there’s someone out there for everyone. The truth is I like being single I find it easier and I’m happy with my own company and it just being my child and I. It would take someone very special to make me want to invite someone into our life.

There is a point in dating you do meet someone and think hey this one is something else…… I want to take a chance on this one. For someone single for so long and as a single parent it’s a huge leap of faith. It’s not just you, you risk getting hurt but also your child if they meet and get attached to this person. The fear of my child getting hurt by getting attached to someone and then leaving scares me more than myself getting hurt. In 4 years of being single I have only risked that once and allowing that vulnerability to really let someone in.

I’m the type of person that wears my heart on my sleeve I am honest, sassy and loyal. I am always open about what is going on in my life as I prefer people know me, no hidden layers just me in all my quirks and sticky life truths, it is a risky vulnerability. One I would rather take than hold back and have someone fall for only part of me then run when they see me in all my messy splendor.

The truth is everyone is a mess, everyone has a past, everyone has an ex. I think moving forward it’s how much weight you allow those things to invade your thoughts and feelings as to how much they affect your future. I have had a ridiculous amount of stressful things happen to me the past 4 years while being single but, I still push forward, keep positive the majority of the time and I choose how much I allow things to get to me because I have the power over what I allow to hurt me.

I think finding that strength is why I have finally started taking a chance on falling for someone. I have dated taken on the tinder battlefield and tried many of the apps. As a person I am always working on myself to be the best version of me. I think that’s why compared to the first blog I did about dating called dating is a battlefield back in August 2018 this is more positive than my jaded buy some cats blog post haha. To be honest getting cats is always a good option but it’s not the same as a deep human connection.

Taking a chance can be daunting and being vulnerable can be scary but also exhilarating. However things turn out taking a chance has made me feel alive, made me realize I can be open to something and that is a gift in itself. Life is taking one big chance after all. This year has a lot in store for me and I’m ready to take on it all no matter what the outcome as I want to live I don’t want to just tread water.

So for all those people in the same boat as me in singledom taking on dating and meeting people you have the power over what you want to do or not do. Life’s too short to not take chances let’s live, be free and enjoy what comes our way while having the power in ourselves to decide what chances we take as only we decide what breaks us and what lessons we will take on.

Sensory overload what is it?

Sensory overload what is it?

nadiaewestbrookcreative

You may have heard another parent use the term, a teacher or even a doctor, but what is sensory overload? The general definition is: difficulty focusing due to competing sensory input. It can consist of symptoms of extreme irritability, restlessness and discomfort. With an urge to cover your ears or shield your eyes from sensory input. Abi has been in sensory overload since the weekend as when she is anxious her senses get heightened and anything from the vacuum cleaner or the neighbor mowing their lawn a few houses down can send her into meltdown. Due to this I took some time away from social media and screens while it settled. As screens due to the blue light can stimulate more so our home (her safe place) has been a calm quiet environment which has helped her calm down. We have also spent a lot of time out doors as the beach has a very calming effect on her. I write this blog piece about sensory overload from my perspective as a parent of a child with ASD who has sensory sensitivity issues. I also have sensory sensitivity to certain things also. I hope this blog gives some clarity and information on the topic that may help someone.

What causes sensory overload?

In children with autism ” bright lights, loud noises, unfamiliar surroundings and situations can cause sensory overload. All of these can create stress—and sensory overload—for kids with sensory processing issues. It can also create anxiety over situations that lie ahead. That’s especially true if kids aren’t prepared or are worried about unexpected things happening.” Even with all the preparation everyday things like going to school or work(for adults) can be a battle. For Abi we have lots of things in place like a late start, no uniform until shes in class and settled.

Working with the school we have attempted to remove the main triggers we have found so far. The truth is though that the build up to school sends her into overload due to anxiety with environment and tasks. Also after school when she gets home she may meltdown as she has had to process all these new tasks. With sensory overload its important to pick up the triggers to reduce anxiety which escalates the sensory issues. It is up to the parent and those around to pick up on possible triggers and to try reduce the triggers where possible.

Under and over sensitivity to sensory input.

A person can be under or over sensitive to sensory input. For example “many people on the spectrum can be hypersensitive in some ways (can’t bear loud noise, for example), but ALSO hypo sensitive in other ways (need to feel motion or physical sensation in order to feel calm).” Some may be adverse to touch where others want to have big squishy hugs its not a one size fits all kind of scenario. In my experience my child if out and about cant take in when her names being called. This is due to her taking in all the small noises we don’t notice. It is competing sensory input with all the noises, then calling her name or asking a question she either dosen’t hear or cant process, between all the different noises her brain is trying to process. Some say in instances like this it is selective hearing in this case it is sensory overload which is very overwhelming and can cause meltdowns, stiming or for her to cover her ears.

Where can you get help for Sensory Processing disorder or sensory processing issues?

There are a few options. Working with an OT and psychologist can be very beneficial to have an individually targeted plan made for the person affected. Also having those around the child or adult taking note when the person is being affected and knowing the signs of raising anxiety due to the sensory sensitivity. Going to your doctor and talking about your symptoms will help as they can refer you to local specialists.

I have attached some helpful articles and a quiz below if you wish to do some further reading. Keep in mind both neuro diverse and nuero typcal people can be affected by sensory processing. So it can affect anyone of any gender, background and age.

Helpful articles : https://www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/sensory-processing-issues/sensory-overload-anxiety

https://www.verywellhealth.com/autism-and-sensory-overload-259892

https://www.healthline.com/health/sensory-overload#causes

Do you think you or your child may have SPD ? this questonaire may give you an idea on whether or not to get checked.  I got 53% as I am sensitive to certain things.

[Self-Test] Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) in Adults