Tag: life blogger

An open letter to myself

nadiaewestbrookcreative

A wise friend of mine I called when feeling low gave me some sage advise to write a letter to myself. I decided to share it. To share that rawness of what I needed to hear and what others may need to tell themselves to sooth their soul when it needs you to love every piece of it. When facing hurdles or struggles write a letter to yourself to remind yourself you are enough.

To me

You are enough, you are unique, you are creative, you are special, you deserve to be loved and that starts with loving yourself. You are normally bubbly and open, kind and caring. You let people in with the best hopes that they will return that openess. DO not give up on yourself or others just because some dont meet those expectations you set yourself. Dont let the pain of taking a chance and being burned close you off to other beautiful things in fear of getting hurt. You deserve love do not let the hurt win.

You are beautiful. What you see when you look in the mirror the imperfections and the health worries that weigh on you daily is not what others see. Listen to those around you when your inner dialogue is not so kind. The health worries and upcoming surgeries that make you feel ugly, insecure and worried that people will be disgusted with how you look. In these time’s of lows look through others eyes. They see big blue eyes that light up when you are happy or passionately sharing stories about the things you love. They hear a laugh that is contagious and makes them want to know more. They see you for all that you are and are not focused on the things you have zeroed in on and tear yourself up over. They see a daughter,a mother, a friend, a person that brings joy to them even in your darkest moments. They choose to be in your life when others walk away. DO not focus on the ones that walk away focus on the ones that stay. The ones that want you to succeed, to lift you up, to soar with you and climb into the cave of darkness when things get overwhelming. Not to pull you out but to sit and support you until you are ready to emerge stronger than before as you are ever evolving.

You are surrounded by love even in times you do not love yourself. You are not hard to love. You are loving, passionate, caring and kind. You want to make a difference to people, you want to inspire. So I choose me, to love myself, to inspire myself to push through on those days I feel stuck in quicksand. Listen when they tell you how strong you are when you face mountains everyday of being a special needs parent. The daily challenges of life. The fear of being stuck in the motions and lose of self. You may feel weak and it may get to you, but where you see weakness those around you see strength, they see someone facing giant hurdles with grace and humbleness. To come out the other side learning lessons and being stronger, becoming more than you were before. Remember no matter the hurdle even if it takes a while you reemerge like a blazing phoenix burning for life. When in the ash of the problems you face you will re emerge.

You are enough and deserve love, happiness, respect, safety ,security ,a positive future. Its ok to feel sad and low sometimes without those dark days there would be no balance and joy. Love yourself so you shine bright and light up those around you and remember there is always people that care no matter what struggles you face. You are loved, you are enough.

Taking a chance

Taking a chance

nadiaewestbrookcreative

Being single for a long period you always hear from people around you, oh you will meet someone, there’s someone out there for everyone. The truth is I like being single I find it easier and I’m happy with my own company and it just being my child and I. It would take someone very special to make me want to invite someone into our life.

There is a point in dating you do meet someone and think hey this one is something else…… I want to take a chance on this one. For someone single for so long and as a single parent it’s a huge leap of faith. It’s not just you, you risk getting hurt but also your child if they meet and get attached to this person. The fear of my child getting hurt by getting attached to someone and then leaving scares me more than myself getting hurt. In 4 years of being single I have only risked that once and allowing that vulnerability to really let someone in.

I’m the type of person that wears my heart on my sleeve I am honest, sassy and loyal. I am always open about what is going on in my life as I prefer people know me, no hidden layers just me in all my quirks and sticky life truths, it is a risky vulnerability. One I would rather take than hold back and have someone fall for only part of me then run when they see me in all my messy splendor.

The truth is everyone is a mess, everyone has a past, everyone has an ex. I think moving forward it’s how much weight you allow those things to invade your thoughts and feelings as to how much they affect your future. I have had a ridiculous amount of stressful things happen to me the past 4 years while being single but, I still push forward, keep positive the majority of the time and I choose how much I allow things to get to me because I have the power over what I allow to hurt me.

I think finding that strength is why I have finally started taking a chance on falling for someone. I have dated taken on the tinder battlefield and tried many of the apps. As a person I am always working on myself to be the best version of me. I think that’s why compared to the first blog I did about dating called dating is a battlefield back in August 2018 this is more positive than my jaded buy some cats blog post haha. To be honest getting cats is always a good option but it’s not the same as a deep human connection.

Taking a chance can be daunting and being vulnerable can be scary but also exhilarating. However things turn out taking a chance has made me feel alive, made me realize I can be open to something and that is a gift in itself. Life is taking one big chance after all. This year has a lot in store for me and I’m ready to take on it all no matter what the outcome as I want to live I don’t want to just tread water.

So for all those people in the same boat as me in singledom taking on dating and meeting people you have the power over what you want to do or not do. Life’s too short to not take chances let’s live, be free and enjoy what comes our way while having the power in ourselves to decide what chances we take as only we decide what breaks us and what lessons we will take on.

Coming out from between the pages and letting my creativity flow.

Coming out from between the pages and letting my creativity flow.

nadiaewestbrookcreative

I have written about my love of reading before. So what made me take the leap to write a book? What a big jump it is from my passion of reading and constantly devouring books like some crazed bibliophile.  Books have forever been my escape from whatever is going on. To lose myself between the pages of a book and enter new places and worlds. The truth is I have been through more heartache and trauma than most do in a lifetime in my 32 years. These things I have lived through, these life experiences, made me want to have an escape to channel the emotions that came with them. How better to channel them than through a creative outlet like writing. It allows a writer to escape to wherever their mind takes them and to take others with them on that journey. To put the emotions into scenes with characters in any place and time of the writers choosing. I also do this with my blog series life’s a journey sharing some of these life experiences.

I am taking my time and slowly tackling writing my book. This isn’t something that happens over night I have had the idea for my book for many years. The past 2 years or so I have been doing the research needed as it is historical fiction meaning the places , clothes, plants all the finer details have to be correct for the time as well as location of places. I have done short stories, poems, essays, blogs and creative writing projects through uni but never a book. This is a challenge and goal I have set myself.

Over the years I have read thousands of books and always come back to fantasy, history and historical fiction. My book is based in 839-843 AD in what would one day become Scotland. It could be classed currently as a mix of historical fiction and fantasy as its based loosely around events that happened and also folklore.  I am doing allot of research to ensure everything from the animals and scenery of the time are correct. I want to do what my favorite books do, take readers into the story, set the scenes so it takes them away into that place and time. Jean M Auel did it beautifully in The Clan of the Cave bear. It is evident how much research she did of the time with the knowledge of plants and animals that went into it but the research on how they communicated to make the characters more 3 dimensional to get you to understand them on a deeper level.

A lot of authors get inspiration from history. George RR Martin was inspired by the battle of the roses. The War of the Roses was a series of civil wars that were fought for control of the throne of England. It was fought between two rival branches of the royal House of Plantaganet, the House of Lancaster, associated with the red rose, and the House of York, whose symbol was a white rose. These civil wars were fought between 1455 – 1485. Reading his books and watching the series it becomes clear the inspiration he took from historical events and he weaved it into magic that captured the intrigue of millions of people.

Some authors are even inspired by other stories. Sarah J mass book A court of thorns and roses was inspired by Beauty and the beast. It’s a much more grittier version to begin with then transforms into something you wouldn’t see coming. The second book in the series was inspired by Hades and Persephone. Every writer is an artist and sees one story that can be transformed into something else or can make something from nothing and make it enthralling.

Sometimes it just takes that spark of inspiration. For me my passion for history and missing my homeland inspired me to research many years ago. As I read more it came to me. The idea of the story, the times in history I wanted to work round. As read about the time period I also read about the folklore of the times of the Sidhe and wulvers. Before I knew it characters started to come to mind, a story to re-write history.

For more on my upcoming book as it develops stay up to date with my blog. As I delve more into the story write and then re write I will post up info on characters and bits and pieces of the story.